Feelings are a tricky thing. There’s a lot of talk about feelings in recovery because we are learning to deal with them in new and productive ways rather than numbing them out.
Becoming a master over and a friend with our feelings is critical. Otherwise they can have mastery over you.
Sometimes it’s critical to move through, feel and face our feelings. Sometimes they are simply there to notice and let pass.
I think, write, share and talk a lot about not giving up through it all. That you’ve got to just hold on and ride out this roller coaster that is life.
what you’re going through
what you’re struggling with
what you’re recovering from
what goals you’re working toward
what vision you’re creating for your life
or how long it’s all taking
Everything comes and passes.
But what about when time passes and things don’t seem to be getting or feeling better, or turning around, or going your way?
Even then, you keep going.
And you keep feeling.
Sometimes you have to let yourself be sad, angry, discontent, impatient, etc.
To allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling is OKAY. So often we resist and try to fight whatever is going on inside and it is exactly that which fights against us and prolongs the process.
I learned this during the deep and intense pain, grief and loss that I was feeling after my divorce.
Suddenly my identity and life as I knew it was flipped upside down. I felt like I was drowning and nobody could save me. They couldn’t. I had to go through it.
Those first few times that my kids left with their dad and I was alone in my house for the first time, all I could do was fall on the floor and cry. It was those moments of complete emptiness that all I could do was feel the pain, surrender and wait for time to pass.
There was nothing to do in those moments but FEEL.
As painful as they were at the time, those were the moments of magic. Of transformation. Of making way for healing and clearing the path for the new.
It was those moments of loneliness that paved the path for independence.
It was those moments of surrender that paved the path for trust.
It was the moments of heart break that paved the path of rebuilding myself as a woman.
If you can take the time to know yourself and begin to catch yourself in the moments of whatever you’re dealing with, you begin to hold the key.
When you can stop, recognize, identify, accept and allow yourself to just BE wherever you are, you begin to hold the key.
Sometimes there is nothing to do but to feel and let it pass.
Sometimes there is work to do! This is usually when we’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and it’s time to get into action.
This could mean asking for help, finding a spiritual practice, starting some sort of therapy, meditation, exercise, self help groups, workshops, seminars, coaches, the list goes on!
You get to become the judge, the master, the artist of your experience of life and your feelings through it all.
You get to choose to create your beautiful life. Feelings and all.
The key is in your hand.