Since I was almost as young as I can remember, I took on the role of being the caretaker in my home. Growing up in a drug induced and abusive environment, there was always this inherent need to make sure my mom and my siblings were safe.
Even to my own detriment and even if there was nothing that I could do about any of it, I felt like I always needed to be present and at least witnessing what was going on in my home. I think that was the only way I could feel some sense of control.
When I turned 18 and my mom went to prison, I immediately took on the care of my brother & sister who are 16-17 years younger than me. My ex husband & I ended up raising them until they grew up and moved out. They will always be our kids, even if not by birth.
Meanwhile, we also had our own 3 kids, and for the roughly 15 years that I was married, life was ALL about being a wife and a mom. Nothing else mattered. It was never a question, that was my life’s purpose and I was always fulfilled by it. I thought that’s how life would always be.
Then the divorce came. And for the first time ever the kids would go with their dad for half the time and I would be alone. For the first time in my life I had to look in the mirror and question who I was without the husband and the kids.
It’s so engrained in our society to sacrifice everything that we are and wrap our entire identities in being caregivers. Yes, it can be a wonderful honor to be able to give to our loved ones. But it’s not so wonderful to wake up one day and realize we’ve lost ourselves, our health and mental well being in the midst of it all.
While this was a very dark and lonely place for me for a long time, eventually, through a ton of personal work, it became a wonderful journey of self discovery.
Although my role as a mom will always be the most important, and one that I will hold and treasure for my entire life, my purpose and mission in the world are changing.
I am finding a new definition for who I am and what my life is for. I have learned self love and to practice what it means to take care of myself first. I am learning what it looks like to live life on my own terms now, while also continuing to be of service to my family, to women and to the world.
Now I get to branch out beyond my family and make an impact on a different scale. The vision for what I’m creating is still coming into focus, but I’m so excited (and terrified at the same time) because I know without a doubt that it’s time.
Time to come into the next level of my life, but without it being so hard and such a struggle. Without being so hard on myself, and without so much sacrifice.
What if we *can* actually be givers in this world while also being nourished ourselves. I think this is the new way for women and leadership in the world. I think this is how it has to change or else it’s just not sustainable.
This is the force that I’m ready to be part of. One where women have the opportunity to heal and be loved and nourished while also being a contribution to the world around them, however they choose.
This is why I’ve hired my coaches, The Healing Couple. Because I can’t do this alone. We can’t do this alone. We need each other, my friends. We need community to rise community. The world needs us to band together to raise the condition of the planet. For each other, for our children, for humanity.
Come along, rise with me…