Exposed Day 1, Codependence

I used to be codependent.

Some of the characteristics of codependency that I used to relate to are:

“Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem. Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval. Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost.”

In the months following my divorce I felt like I was going to die of loneliness. I felt that way again after the next relationship that I jumped into ended.

It was then that I realized there were some lessons for me to learn, so I dove into the loneliness.

I worked with a coach who helped me see things that were in my way.

It became my mission to become a woman who could be alone and embrace her own company.

A woman who could meet her own needs and enjoy solitude.

Someone who could stand on her own feet and trust herself.

And I’ve certainly learned a few things over the last 10 years.

Like- there’s a difference between codependence and the true desire for companionship.

There’s a difference between needing others for your own validation and self worth, and wanting to share time and life with someone that you love by your side.

What I know now is that what you bring to the table with another person is multiplied when you can take full ownership of yourself and your life first.

And now…

In the space where the deepest of fears, pain and loneliness used to live, there is now peace.

In the space where uncertainty and doubt used to live, there is now confidence in who I am and how I navigate my world.

Do those other things still show up from time to time? Of course. They just don’t hang around very long anymore.

Because now I know that I’ll no longer settle or sacrifice myself just to not be alone.

And I know that I’ll never place the responsibility of my own happiness in another persons’s hands.

So I offer you the question today-

when is the last time sat with yourself and/or you did something for yourself alone?

I urge you to go there.

Take some time to be with yourself as often and as long as you can.

There are treasures to be found there, and within you, that are so worth it.




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