I still remember the first time I felt out of place and uncomfortable in my own skin.
We’ve all had those moments when the world around us seemed to go dark and it felt like there was a spotlight shining on our flaws.
It wasn’t, and I had stacks of evidence to prove it.
I wanted to slither right out of that classroom and run away.
Over time though, this just became part of my identity and I got really good at hiding.
Hiding from uncomfortable situations where I might not fit in, or blending into my environment so I wouldn’t be noticed.
While this hiding served me for a time and made me feel safe, it also morphed into a lot of things about myself and who I thought I was that just weren’t true…
Like if people got to know the real me, they wouldn’t like me.
Or if I let people get too close, they’d find out who I really am and they’d leave.
And that if I just stayed small and quiet no one would have a chance to judge me.
The first time I realized this I was in a room full of over 100 people in a personal growth seminar.
I had this moment where I felt invisible – like I could get up and leave the room and nobody would see or notice me.
But in that same moment I realized I was no longer that little girl who needed to hide who she was.
I realized that my hiding was actually causing quite the opposite of what I really wanted, which was to feel connected to people, be seen and understood.
So I began to make a conscious effort to step outside of myself. I put myself in rooms and surrounded myself with people who pulled me into my truth.
The truth is, we are all different!
As humans we have a lot of things that are the same; ways that we form thoughts, patterns and behaviors, ways of surviving our lives and the things that are placed in front of us.
But we are also each a unique recipe of these things based on our lived experiences. And we often forget or never even know that we get to choose what we do with those experiences and who we become.
Have you felt like this before? Like if you just stayed small and hid you‘d be safe and no one would find out the truth about you?
Sometimes it still feels more natural for me to stay quiet and hide, but now I make a conscious effort to step out and connect with people wherever I go.
And I am absolutely in love with the people that I have in my life who love me wholly, unconditionally and with all of my flaws.
Not only that, but I can’t do the work that I know I’m here to do with women if I’m hiding.
So my commitment to myself, to you, and to my God, is to continue to take actions in discomfort in order to serve my purpose and passion in this life.
Now think about it and tell me, who would you be if the world hadn’t told you otherwise?