Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let people go.
I used to pride myself in my ability to forgive and not let the things that people did get to me.
I wanted to keep everyone around and on my good side, and stay on theirs, so I always did what I needed take responsibility, even if it wasn’t mine to take.
Self reflection, ownership, and taking responsibility are important in relationships, yes, but not to the detriment of your well being. Not when you’ve actually been hurt, violated or wronged.
In the last couple of years I became witness to my own patterns of people pleasing and what an impact that had on my life and how I showed up in the world.
If you’re not aware of the real meaning and impact of being a people pleaser, here’s the gist:
“The term “people pleaser” refers to a person who has a strong urge to please others, even if at their own expense. They may feel that their own wants and needs do not matter, or alter their personality around others.”
“Someone who cares a lot about whether other people like them, and always wants others to approve of their actions.”
I was in a heated argument with someone and I felt like I was transported into my 13 year old self – except I was in my 40’s.
Something about that moment of realization knocked me on my ass.
I had been contorting myself in so many ways and holding myself back so that I could try to control other people’s view of me, be approved of and liked.
And here’s the thing. People are going to have their own views and opinions of you, no matter what you do. And most of it will have nothing to do with you.
This isn’t a free pass to be a horrible person.
This is a free pass to live a life that you love, let people think what they may and let people fall away when it’s time.
I’m now living a new commitment to myself and the result is what you’re seeing here in these posts and all that will follow in coming months.
Because in all of the people pleasing, trying to hold onto too many people, and trying to control the world’s view of me, I’ve been holding myself back.
And I’ve got things to do.
Now tell me…
What or who do you need to let go of in order to live more free? What will become possible in your life when you do that?
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