Exposed Day 11, The Gap

I do not have it all figured out.

Do you look at me and read my posts and think I have it all together? 

Lol. Please stop.

You see, I used to put a lot of effort into making it look like my life was a certain way.

I wanted you to know, the way that I wanted myself to know, that my life was nothing like the one I grew up in.

I wanted to be sure you could see, as well as prove to myself, that I made it to the other side.

And I did! Thank God.

The problem is the image that I used to spend so much effort portraying wasn’t mine.

It was the one I thought I was supposed to have – the one society and people laid out to follow.

But it wasn’t mine. 

And now it is.

But it took me a long time to get here – to where my life and what I share isn’t created from a place of trying to prove myself. 

My life now is a representation of everything that I have created – even the parts that I’m still working on or not happy with.

It’s all mine. There is nothing to prove anymore. 

What a relief.

How often do we do that though?

Do we bend and flex and change ourselves in order to make things seem a certain way on the outside while the inside feels completely misaligned.

I’m so thankful that now I can write and share myself from a place of truth and who I really am. 

But I want you to know that there is ALWAYS a messy middle. 

I have hit many bottoms in my own life, have cried in many puddles of tears, have broken my own heart uncountable times. 

I am my own worst critic and I have to consciously and continuously become my own biggest fan.

When things happen in life that wake you up to the fact that there is work to do and room to grow, you will find yourself in a gap. 

The gap between where/who you are now, and where/who you want to be.

And that can be a hard and scary place to be, but I assure you that’s where the magic is.

It is in that gap where it may feel like you won’t make it, that you can actually be reborn.

I will personally continue to step in and walk through that place over and over again, because I am committed to a life of continual growth and that’s how I am fulfilled.

But I will never claim to have it all figured out.

So I invite you to go there. To the scary place and that next big step that will take you where you want to be. To the life you have envisioned for yourself.

And if you need support or someone to hold your hand, I am here.

I’d love to know – are you in a gap right now? Or do you see one? What’s it going to take to walk through it?




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